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7 Tips for Cleaning Your Home When It Feels Impossible

If you’re struggling to keep up with house cleaning duties due to depression, here are some simple ways to help you start tackling them.

1. Start Small

You don’t have to clean your whole house in one swoop, adds Mairanz. “Starting small sets us up for success with larger projects,” she says. “Starting with something easy like putting clothes in a hamper will help maintain motivation through positive feedback loops.” Positive feedback loops are actions that help to reinforce change.

 For instance, seeing a full clothes hamper can make it easier to take the next step of putting the clothes in the washer.

Try it by identifying your three most important house cleaning goals. Focus on completing the first of those tasks, then try to tackle the others one at a time.

Concentrating on just those small steps makes it easier to get started and build that inertia to keep going, says Karen Lynn Cassiday, PhD, a clinical psychologist and managing director of the Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago. “It’s like jump-starting a car when you have a battery that doesn’t work,” says Dr. Cassiday.

2. Reframe Negative Self-Talk

“People with depression will start to criticize themselves and say, ‘I’m so lazy,’” says Cassiday. This negative self-talk can actually end up hindering your productivity rather than motivating you to get things done, she says.

If you notice that you’re speaking negatively to yourself, it can help to immediately replace those thoughts with positive ones. Positive self-talk can help increase self-esteem and boost motivation, which in turn can lead to improved productivity, adds Cassiday.

Some strategies for positive self-talk include:

  • Be encouraging and gentle to yourself by looking at negative thoughts objectively. Then respond with a compassionate evaluation of what is good about yourself.
  • Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else.

3. Don’t Wait Until You Feel Good to Get Started

When people with depression have good days and they struggle less with their symptoms, they may use those feelings as motivation to complete a task, says Cassiday. For example, they may clean their kitchen because they know it will bring them a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment later on.

But you can’t rely on feeling good as your motivation strategy all the time. Part of the reality of having depression is recognizing that there will be some days when you don’t feel good — but you’ll still need to get things done on those days, too.

“So we have to teach people to first learn to ignore the part of themselves that says, ‘I need to feel good in order to do it,’” says Cassiday. “You can’t wait for feeling good. You have to think about something that’s really important, which is that action that creates motivation.”

4. Prioritize High-Impact Cleaning Tasks

Cassiday recommends choosing tasks that create a “high impact” first to help you better recognize the value of your efforts.

What that means: “A bed takes up a large chunk of space in a room, so if you actually make it, it has a rather large effect in terms of the aesthetic appearance as compared to, say, picking up five pieces of trash,” she says.

5. Ask for Help

If a family member or friend can assist you with cleaning duties, the extra help may jump-start your motivation.

“People with depression tend to withdraw and self-isolate. Reaching out to a friend or loved one is a big step toward combating depression and can have immediate effects, not just on the physical space, but also on the emotional,” says Mairanz.

If possible, Cassiday says, do your best to ask for help before you feel embarrassed by a mess. For instance, if you haven’t been able to fold and sort laundry for a few weeks, it’s a good idea to try to reach out for help before the situation becomes unmanageable.

Also, if you have the resources, hiring a cleaning service may be a valuable option.

6. Track Your Wins, No Matter How Small

Actually write them down, Cassiday says. Include cleaning-related accomplishments as well as other wins. She calls this a “what I did list,” as opposed to a “to-do list.”

“When people are depressed they tend to vastly underestimate the effect and value of their efforts,” Cassiday says. “This helps you see that you are actually getting somewhere.”

7. Give Yourself Grace

You may also need to adjust your expectations when it comes to keeping your living space clean. Realize you may not have the energy or focus that you used to — and that’s okay, says Cassiday.

It’s important to remind yourself that a messy or disorganized house doesn’t mean you’ve failed in any way. “You are not alone with having a hard time with this, and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We all go through ups and downs with our mental health, and our space is often a reflection of that natural process,” says Mairanz.